oxavi | a blog of web design, software, and freelancing

My Geek Noir G1 Encounter

Posted by Trevor Mclean under android | g1 | humor

October 16, 2008

As I placed my hand on the door, I almost slipped as my excitement was taking hold. Was I actually going to see it? Was this the pinnacle of technology, the end all to the personal device? I barely noticed the saleswoman assure me that she would help me soon; all I could focus on was a small nondescript plaque with the following:

G-1 Phone: Coming October 22nd

“How may I help you?” she said, as I tried to cover up my anticipation and play it cool.

“Uh…um… I’d like to know more about the G-1.” My voice didn’t betray the hours I spent gazing at my shimmering LCD monitor at home, gleaning every morsel of information I could find about the contraption.

“The G-1 will not be here until October 22nd.” Rejected yet again, I thought. She went into some diatribe about how she had to go to a five hour meeting on Sunday to talk about the phone. I nodded sympathetically, even though I would have given up my right nut just to be able to touch and cradle the G-1. “Would you like to see it? My manager doesn’t want me to show anyone, but I think I can sneak this by him.” This caught me totally off guard; I could merely nod and drool. She slumbered away deftly as I crept behind a sales rack. She came back and in moments I had my eye on the G-1.

What a masterpiece of engineering! I was amazed by the ease of using the trackball to navigate Google Maps, and a smile slowly grew on my face as she flipped the touch-screen up and revealed the QWERTY keyboard. She told me to bring her an item, I quickly grabbed a Bluetooth earpiece as I thought her boss was coming and she was going to have to put the G-1 away.

Instead I was treated to a demonstration of the bar-code scanning ability, which clearly showed that the in-store price was three bucks more than online. Worrying about revealing too much, my newfound friend carefully closed the flip screen and snuck it into her bra. I wished her good day, and promised that I would return on October 22nd. As I left the store, the sun shown brilliant rays, a my spirits lifted, and the whole world became a much happier place.

Uh, actually I knew dick about the G-1 Phone until I stepped into the T-Mobile store and while this post is a little exaggerated, the thing was freakin’ awesome!

Posted by a guest on Thursday the 16th October, 2008.

Hi ya'll. Since I was requested by several leading publications to give an unbiased review of the new G1 phone, I put this personal review together based upon absolutely nothing whatsoever other than my own fertile imagination. It was necessary to do it this way since it's impossible for me to be unbiased about anything, and I have no idea what a G1 is nor do I really give a crap about it and I never expect to own one, except under circumstances along the lines of this review. If you pass this along to 5 other people, I will put in a good word for you with the Gypsy woman who owns a string of 7 empty store fronts in the Detroit ghetto. Chow for Now

Posted by a guest on Friday the 17th October, 2008.

"I was amazed by the ease of using the trackball to navigate Google Maps, and a smile slowly grew on my face as she flipped the touch-screen up and revealed the QWERTY keyboard. She told me to bring her an item, I quickly grabbed a Bluetooth earpiece as I thought her boss was coming"

why does this part sound so much like a bad porn script? and why did it turn me on just the same?